sine me, deus meus, dicere aliquid et de ingenio meo, munere tuo, in quibus a me deliramentis atterebatur. proponebatur enim mihi negotium, animae meae satis inquietum praemio laudis et dedecoris vel plagarum metu, ut dicerem verba Iunonis irascentis et dolentis quod non posset Italia Teucrorum avertere regem, quae numquam Iunonem dixisse audieram. sed figmentorum poeticorum vestigia errantes sequi cogebamur, et tale aliquid dicere solutis verbis quale poeta dixisset versibus. et ille dicebat laudabilius in quo pro dignitate adumbratae personae irae ac doloris similior affectus eminebat, verbis sententias congruenter vestientibus. ut quid mihi illud, o vera vita, deus meus, quod mihi recitanti adclamabatur prae multis coaetaneis et conlectoribus meis? nonne ecce illa omnia fumus et ventus? itane aliud non erat ubi exerceretur ingenium et lingua mea? laudes tuae, domine, laudes tuae per scripturas tuas suspenderent palmitem cordis mei, et non raperetur per inania nugarum turpis praeda volatilibus. non enim uno modo sacrificatur transgressoribus angelis.

Augustini Confessionum, Liber I

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♬ オリジナル楽曲 – 🦜トトボーイ🦜 – 🦜トトボーイ🦜

A group of friends were chatting about their biggest fears. Hachi walked in and scoffed, “Fear? I’m afraid of nothing!” But then, he lowered his voice with a shiver. “Well… except for one thing. Iekei Ramen and White Rice.”

“Ramen and rice?!” they gasped.

“Yes! That rich, greasy tonkotsu shoyu soup, thick noodles, and seaweed. And worst of all, wrapping hot rice with that soup-soaked seaweed… It’s an evil combination! Just talking about it makes me dizzy.” Hachi pretended to faint and retreated to the back room to rest.

Determined to prank him, the guys brought a hot bowl of Iekei Ramen and a mountain of white rice, placing them right by Hachi’s pillow.

Smelling the feast, Hachi opened his eyes. “Oh no! It’s here! So scary, so scary!”

Yet, he instantly grabbed his chopsticks.

“Oh, the terror! Slurp! …Mmm, so rich! Wrapping rice in seaweed… Gulp! …How horrific!”

Slurp, munch, gulp! In a flash, he devoured every last bit.

The guys burst in, furious. “You tricked us! What are you really scared of right now?!”

Hachi patted his full belly with a grin.

“Well, after a heavy meal like that… now I’m scared of a song by Kenshi Yonezu —‘Shinigami’✌.”